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Las Vegas, Nevada, United States
"No, really!"

My Favorite Bit of Paper Cup Philosophy

The Way I See It #76

The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Computerless + Sleepless = Deep Distress

Photo credit: J.D. Morehouse

I had to work a long time yesterday on the words I wanted to post. I am going to begin speaking of other people and I want to do it well and fairly. So I typed awhile late in the day and decided to drive home, think about my words and spend a quiet evening finishing the post.

Got home, greeted Dylan and Virginia Woolf, made coffee . . . I was ready.

The Badger recently built me a new computer worthy of a Ferrari kit, a siren and a warning label. It is fast. I am spoiled. Now I blog, and I must have that computer. I reached my hand out to bring her to life ~ ~ ~ nothing. OK, I know what to do in that case. Power her off and start again. And again. And again.

Quick e-mail version of my own personal tagline from Apollo 13: "Badger, we have a problem." Repeated 2-line e-mails back and forth. Finally from him: "Look on the back. You should have 4 green lights. If any of them are amber, you're fried." 2 of the 4 were amber. I wanted to go out and run 20 red lights in no one's honor.

So, when the computer dies and it's a Thursday night and you've been promised that a new one will be built after this race weekend is over, wouldn't you just read a book, walk some extra miles, pop in a movie? Maybe you would, but I didn't. I kept getting up and obsessively trying to fire that computer up, disturbing cats and myself. When I accepted that I'd worked myself into a nice insomniac snit, I decided to read. Last year at the holidays, I was given a gift of the seminal John Lennon biography by Philip Norman. I had immediately consumed the first 725 pages, but then I put the book down because I didn't want to read the end. I already knew how the story turned out, you see. I finished my book last night. He still died. It still hurt.

And still no sleep for the wicked! For walking, I went out of my way to locate my Pearl Izumi shoes, the ones that are just about 100% wrong for walking on concrete. I thereby ensured that my feet would flap like ducks' feet for 8 miles. They did.

Addiction is a theme in my tapestry. I think I may have a little blog addiction going on, but I can't locate a 12-step program! So, while in the shower, I found myself grinning, shampoo on my teeth. The night had finally ended. The sun was coming up. If I hurried, I'd get to the office and have access . . . to all those blogs.

In my ears right now: The Lennon Legend, what else?

Why I like it: Come on, it's my hero. I even like his bad music.

Something that charmed me today: The first e-mail I received: "I'm sorry this happened to you while I am away." All right. Thank you. I'll stop being a boob now.


  1. The day is getting better by the hour. Vicente just came! He looks rather frail, but he's grinnin' and I'm "beautiful". The wind screams and there's a slight chance of rain, so that car may look disreputable within hours. But Vicente came!

  2. I'd rather be without tequila than my computer. That assumes, of course, my whiskey supply is in good order. :-D

  3. Ha ~ that is good! Thinking: "Tequila? Computer?" Pretty funny that last night I didn't substitute one for the other, but I didn't. I'm sorry to report that I did give serious thought to going to the office for the night, however. There's a shower there. I could just relocate for a short time. ;(

  4. Hi my name is Sue and I'm a blogger. Oh, I hope you get your computer up and running again SOON! Insomnia...not fun. I have learned not to get too upset about it though. That's what naps are for, I've decided. Happy weekend to you--even without the computer!

  5. [Head hung in shame] "My name is Limes and I'm a blogger. Last night I walked the streets for lack of a computer." Ha! I like that. He's promised a replacement computer as soon as he gets back. In fact, I think it's already built. I plan a great weekend - those 12 hours or so I call a weekend (I work Saturdays).