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Las Vegas, Nevada, United States
"No, really!"

My Favorite Bit of Paper Cup Philosophy

The Way I See It #76

The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.

Friday, October 9, 2009

I Don't Know Much, But I Know Whom I Like

A friend/loved one and I talk fairly often about the what attracts a person to another person. Why are we drawn to some human beings but not to others? Why do we form bonds with some that last across a difficult lifetime, while we make and end relationships with some others without much fanfare? I don't know the answers to any of it. I just know that the topic which fascinates me perhaps more than any other is . . . . connecting with others. If you've read me, you likely already know that. I feel connected to some people I don't actually know and I don't feel connected to some people to whom I am related. I feel connected to some public figures and indifferent to some I know quite well. I feel connected to some people who lived in different eras, different countries. And I am intrigued and curious about whether the connection will occur every time I interact in some way with some new person. I find I can connect with another over something we have in common or mutually understand, even if that's the only place we connect. I don't have a need to connect at every level. I can be pretty fascinated by and drawn to narrow slices of "other human".

I feel connected to John Lennon. Intensely connected. He is an idol, one might say. Today would have been his 69th birthday, except he was murdered in 1980. On paper, it may seem an odd connection. I was 11 and he was 23 when he glowed into my presence for the first time in shades of gray from the black and white TV. It was a February Sunday in 1964. He wasn't the cutest of the four. As the world learned more about him than he wanted us to know, I felt more connection. Of course I never met him. So his cigarette smoke didn't offend me and his snarling treatment (reportedly) of some people didn't affect me. He seems to have been a remarkably poor husband and father in his first marriage, but he wasn't my husband or father. What affected me was the music, the poetry, the sharp wit, the way that he spoke out loud about the things he was for and against. What affected me was the incredible pain he suffered as a young man. He was extremely sensitive and had few coping skills for enduring that pain. He was strong enough to scream out about his pain through his art for his entire life. I understand that. I can relate to that. There is the connection.

I am intensely connected to the Badger who rides the last race of the season in 25 minutes. As he ate his shitty, free Sugar Frosted Flakes, the e-mails were flying back and forth. "Butterflies, Badger? I don't sense them." He replied that there were no butterflies this time and he had a sound strategy. To some, he may simply seem an old guy with a passion for the bike. Not so remarkable. Others might think he is a mighty cycling warrior who happens to turn 60 in a couple of weeks. But I know the obstacles he has had to overcome to live his dream. I know what the voices (those of other people, and the ones in his head) said to hold him back. I know the reasons he sometimes threw his hands in the air and said "Screw it." I know the emotional muscles he had to develop to allow himself to go after what he wanted so desperately. And isn't that a most beautiful human story? Who could not want to cheer out loud for such a man? A man who kicked down obstacles, saying "I will go for this. I will approach it both logically and emotionally. At this, I will succeed." And he has. And he continues. I understand that. I can relate to that. I applaud that. There is the connection.

In my ears right now: John Lennon singing "Watching the Wheels". We didn't hear it until after his death. Double Fantasy came out posthumously. It contains some of his best and truest work. I'll be playing John all day, I am sure. I'm wearing the T-shirt today, too.

Something that charmed me: A customer booked a job online and I heard the e-mail land. Another goofy Las Vegas street name has shown itself. Tomorrow home dudes will be cleaning carpet on Timid Tiger Street. I guess they won't need to worry about being gored!

Something else that charmed me: The e-mail from the starting line. "Ready to go. They're starting us all together - ages 50 through 69." Go take your First Place, Badger. You've worked hard for it. May John Lennon ride on your shoulder like a guardian angel. Your fervent fan, LimesNow.

16 comments:

  1. I think Badger is becoming my hero. You already are!

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  2. Ha, Tag! That just made me blush for some reason. Thank you. I'm not very heroic.

    The Badger is heroic in some ways, probably like most every good person. He also has some head-scratching lesser qualities, so I'm pleased to report he IS human. My enthusiasm is driven by a 41-year acquaintance, a deep understanding of what makes the man tick and the fact that we're simply well-suited. It's that connecting with others thing at work.

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  3. Well, if you must know... I always thought I had a talent for this (bicycle racing), and although I went a long way, I always thought I could have gone much, much farther. For me to come back so well after 20 years of non-racing, and nearly five years of rarely riding (after I was shot), I think, yes, I do have a talent. And the stubborness to polish it, every day. As they say, just wait until next year!

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  4. I knew all of that, Badger. Carpe diem! Don't lose one more day. I might remind you of some words that kicked off this glorious season for you: "You know what to do!"

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  5. I was born ten years too late. I missed out on the Beatles, the best of the Stones, the best of the beach Boys, etc. Yes, I can listen to that music anyway (and have) but nothing like hearing it when it's new, and seeing its' impact on the culture.

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  6. Kirk, I have always felt privileged to have come up in the era I did. I think it is one of the most exciting periods of social change in our country. It was chaotic, but exciting. The intensity was felt in the music, the art, the movies, the books, the gatherings of people. We're still a pretty sparky generation, the Boomers, and I have loved my journey so far.

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  7. I feel privileged that I came up in the era of...um...now, let me think...

    Well, there were mood rings...

    ...and pet rocks...

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  8. Oh, Kirk, I'm sorry, but I laughed out loud at that one! It's true, I think. "We" were so explosive, so vivid, so active, so brilliant (in our own minds, anyway), that the next group seems a little bland. I'm sorry. ;}

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  9. In 1970 Garry Trudeau, who writes and draws Doonesbury, said his generation, which I believe is your generation, was going to be a ridiculously hard act to follow. I think that turned out to be true. But at least I got a little taste of the 60s as a kid. After all, Shaggy, on Saturday morning's Scoopy Do, was sort of a hippie.

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  10. Dead on, Trudeau! I agree with that 100%. OK, let's play a round of Stump-the-Chump. Do you remember Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp [same time frame as Scooby, Shaggy and the gang]? Although we were young adults, my ex-husband and I watched Lancelot Link every Saturday morning and thought it was the funniest thing we ever saw. But when I ask most people who were around at the time, they don't remember the show.

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  11. Lancelot Link talked like Humphrey Bogart. The guy who voiced the German-accented villian was Bernie Kopell, who earlier had played a German-accented villian on Get Smart, and later played the doctor on The Love Boat. One episode that took place on a dude ranch was titled "Bonana". I also seem to remember a bent-over chimp that talked like Ed Sullivan.

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  12. OH, Kirk, destiny has brought us together to talk about Lancelot Link! You're good with the voiceover IDs! Yes, I think there was an Ed Sullivan type, but my favorite of all was the chick - I always considered her the chimp version of 99 on Get Smart.

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  13. The show might have been produced by someone who had been connected with Get Smart. I don't know why they used a Humphrey Bogart voice, though. Maybe they couldn't afford Don Adams at that point.

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  14. It seems like a lot of the shows of the era had common threads: writers, brand of humor, actors, etc. Bogart does seem an odd choice by that late date!

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  15. "Late" might be the operative word there. Bogart was dead by then, so they didn't need his permission, though, as it was parody anyway, it probably wasn't needed. I guess it was for any adults (such as you and your husband) who also happened to be watching, since kids my age didn't know who Bogart was, even though his voice (along with James Cagney's, John Wayne's, Peter Lorre's and Cary Grant's) seem to make the rounds of all the Saturday morning shows.

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  16. You're probably right about the voices. The kids were entertained, the adults caught the little humorous twist by recognizing the voice or simulated voice . . . although I do not like simians, I do love that chimpanzee Agent 99 with her little red dress. Ex and I purposely got up early Saturdays to watch this quirky little show, eating Cap'n Crunch for breakfast . .

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