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Las Vegas, Nevada, United States
"No, really!"

My Favorite Bit of Paper Cup Philosophy

The Way I See It #76

The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Everything's Going to be All Right

I am sure when the head stops throbbing, the heart stops pounding, the adrenaline stops pumping and the first flush of anger subsides, there will appear a blog post. It will be told sharply, biting. It is not my news to tell. It was hard news for me to hear. It made me feel sad. It made me feel fierce and defensive for someone I care about.

It made me think to say how terrible we feel when something bad befalls a loved one. It reminded me we are sometimes too complacent, thinking we know how every little detail of our day will play out. It is just the most recent event I can point to that says, "There's always something new to be dealt with, in addition to everything else we have to endure."

My dear friend, may I say I am glad it was no worse? May I express my frustration that there is nothing tangible I can do that will help you in any way right this moment? You did not need any of this, and I am sorrowful that it happened to you.

Tomorrow will be better! It will be one day past today. Eat well, rail about it to all of us who care about you, and then sleep well. Be as crabby as you need to be, for as long as you need to be. And then move on. You've dealt with worse.

In my ears right now: The echo of the startling words in the phone call.

Something that charmed me: I don't feel very charmed right now. Oh, all right. The obvious, lame statement. It could have been worse. I'm grateful it was not.


  1. I think its called chaos theory Limes. Every thing seems to be going well and woosh, your 6 ft under water wondering what the hell happened. I hope it's better.

  2. Thank you, Tag. It is going to be OK. I am so unhappy when someone I care about gets a big serving of trouble. I get indignant for the object of my affection. This wasn't needed, deserved or requested. Chaos theory is a good name for it! And a great reminder to all that there are many things we simply don't control.

  3. I spent half a lifetime stacking the odds in favor of cancer, then I was surprised when diagnosed. Hope your feeling better today.

  4. I survived another day of chaos. That's a good thing.

  5. @ Tag - I am following your blog and I wondered, but would not have asked without your offering a hint. Is that what the yellow ribbon is about? I participate in many events sporting the pink ribbon. I have not had the disease, but it has taken a loved one away from me.

    @ Badger: you DID survive it, Badge, and you were admirable! This morning you sounded philosophical. Not the way you've always handled such calamities. I'm proud of you. It'll be OK.

  6. Yep, thats the bladder cancer awareness ribbon. I wished they(whoever THEY are) had picked another color. if you click on the ribbon it takes you to a BC awareness site. Thanks for asking.

  7. Well, sure - I was interested the first time I visited your blog, but I didn't want to intrude. I have had my name used in the same sentence as the word cancer and it stopped me in my tracks for a long time. I am healthy right now and not being as closely monitored as I was earlier. The effect of having that diagnosis (or even its possibility) is profound.

  8. I'm not sure what ails your friend, LimesNow. Everyone seems to assume it has something to do with illness, though you don't make that clear in your post. I won't pry. I will say that in the last five years I lost both my mother and a longtime job that I thought was secure. Don't be fooled by the tounge-in-cheek nature of my blog or my comments. There are days I feel like putting more than that in my cheek, but there'd be noone to feed my cat. That's why it pays to have a pet.

  9. Oh, his problem was not as bad as a major illness. He was badly hit in his new car yesterday by one of our ubiquitous Las Vegas urban assault vehicles. He hadn't posted it yet on his blog, and it wasn't mine to tell. We live in terror of being squashed in the streets here, whether walking, cycling or driving, and his number came up yesterday. He was truly upset by it and I was upset for him. Thanks so much for popping in. I DO understand about the cat(s) keeping one's feet planted firmly on the ground.

  10. By the way, he's up there in the commentary - Once Known as The Badger.

  11. I like to say I hope he wasn't hurt, but if it happens to me again I hope I am because I'm going to sue the pants of them. If I get 2 mil limes I'll share 1/2 with you so we both know what a million feels like. I am originally from Cleveland Ohio, close to where our friend Kirk lives. But I grew up in the South Bay area of LA, Hermosa Beach and Torrance. Thanks for asking.

  12. Thank you for asking, Tag - it appears he has no injuries, and that's damned good news because he has a cycling race on the 9th! Last race of the season, and then we finally get to throw a dart at the calendar and go camping.

    There is a series of cat cartoons by a now-deceased artist that I love. One special one says "If I had two dead rats, I'd give you one." So thanks for the $1M, and I promise you, I also give as good as I get in most circumstances.

    Ironically, The Badger spent many, many years in and around Hermosa Beach. He and I both attended Inglewood High School. He went to Cal State Dominguez Hills. He was born and raised in Erie, PA. He tells a story of going to a concert in Cleveland with his father in terrible weather, to and from Erie, and he had to hang his head out of the window to help his dad navigate. I'm a Cali girl. I've only lived in three general areas in life: Salt Lake City, Las Vegas, and Cali from the central coast to San Diego.

    Tomorrow I'll point you to an earlier post of mine that tells the history he and I share. I know you check him out on Digital Existence, but his other blog, 4000,000 Miles and Counting, tells a pretty remarkable story, as well.

    Cheers - it's really nice to know you!

  13. I did know that the Badger had spent some time in the South Bay I read it in one of his comments somewhere to somebody, maybe his profile. I went to Redondo and West High Also to El Camino College. Played softball on weekends at Hawthorne High, Got married the the first time at The Doves of Happiness Wedding Chapel (what a Joke). Some Good news yesterday I got in contact with my missing son. Chris from my first marriage. We had been out of contact for 11 years (long story). I found out I'll be a Grandpa for the first time here in a few months. I'm so excited. I'm gonna wet my pants I Feel a Blog coming on. Tagmike@gmail.com

  14. Congratulations on being a grandfather, Tag. One of these days I'll get around to being one myself. Of course, I'll have to get around to being a father first. Glad your friend's all right, LimesNow. I see his comments all the time at Erin O'Brien's. You say you lived in Salt Lake City and Las Vegas? That's got to be two very different experiences. You didn't go to Bugsy Young University, did you? (if you're Morman, I take that comment back and immediately apologize)

  15. Hey, Kirk ~ Yes, one usually does have to be a father before becoming a grandfather. I think that's a rule. The Badger and I are pretty like-minded about a lot of things, so you'll see the two of us on quite a few blogs. Ha ~ Salt Lake and Vegas! Salt Lake was when I was a child - 2 separate times. Vegas has been 2 separate gigs as an adult. I don't care for either place, actually. No, I'm not Mormon and no BYU. ;}